My friends, it is with a heavy heart that I address you this afternoon. The above picture was leaked to the media earlier today(probably by those dickbats BaffledinBrooklyn and MarilynManson: Living the Dream). In light of this newest sex scandal, I have decided to resign from the 20,000th Helms Deep Like race.
This picture represents a dark period in my past, a door that I thought had been closed for good. But I’ve realized that the past is never truly gone, but remains a part of us, every day. To my loving wife, and daughter, I’m so terribly sorry. To my followers, who believed, truly believed that I would secure Helm’s Deep’s 20,000th like, I thank you for your faith, and I’m sorry I can no longer be the candidate you hoped for.
At this point, I’d like to ask my followers to throw their support behind TheOtherKels. Throughout the race, she has shown a courage and passion for the 20,000th Like that is highly commendable. She has also proven herself to be above such as heinous tactics used by BaffledinBrooklyn and Meerkat Manor: Living the Dream. She has shown herself to be above reproach and truly deserving of your support.
Is Dr. Baffled using the BakeWithAVengeance defense against me?
Does this post just show that, fundamentally, Baffled and Baked are the same?
Is that what we want? More of the same?
Middle Managment, Living the Dream. For a better, different 20,000th Like.
Paid for by the misguided campaign by MMLTD to be 20,000.
It must be nice MMLTD, to just be able to coast in, in the middle of serious baby-eating-taxation debate, and just start spouting off your hippy-dippy feel-good message about change. Would we all like a change? Or course, no one is arguing against that(except maybe Dr. Baffled). But where do you stand on the tough issues, Mid-Man (can I call you Mid-Man? Thanks). Where do you stand on baby-eating? Where do you stand on tax-breaks for the people who eat the most babies? You’re not coming up with any ANSWERS, any SOLUTIONS. I bet you’ve probably never EATEN a baby. And is that what Helm’s Deep needs for his 20,000 like? Not in my Tumblr, Mid-man, not in my Tumblr.
this. is. HILARIOUS. Seriously though, we do eat babies. The key is to let them marinate for two days. Oh, and BRINE! Never forget to brine your babies.
I know, TLOTH, I know. I know he forced you into it. You are like Katie Holmes to his Baby-Eating Tom Cruise. GET OUT TLOTH! GET OUT AND TAKE THE SURI-BUNNY WITH YOU!
Thank you. But you know who is truly beautiful in all of this? Ralph, and the entire Helm’s Deep Clan. That is a good looking family. Am I right, folks?
